This is my tumblr. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
(Just a heads up for anyone who I follow: I have a habit of going through every page of someone's tumblr if I start following them, looking for things that amuse/interest me. I'm starting to realize that this might seem a bit creepy, so I apologize in advance.)
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
We are outraged when an Indian police officer tells a rape victim she should marry her attacker but not when a California judge says a woman wasn’t really raped because she didn’t put up enough of a fight. We are outraged at 24,000 rapes in India but not 188,380 in America.
Hoopstatic - First World Problems
I really recommend reading the entire article. Trigger warning for discussion of rape and rape culture - it’s a tough article but very important.
(Thanks to byunbbi for submitting)
On Being a Rape Survior
I have never written about this before.
When I was seven years-old, I was raped by my neighbor. She was much older, friendly, and had kids of her own. I don’t remember a ton of the circumstances — how was I ever alone with her, where were her kids, how many times it actually happened — but I do remember the.. event? attack? I don’t even know what to call it.
I remember being raped, I guess I should say that. Frankly, there’s not a whole lot of reason for me to go into much more detail other than to say it happened and I had no idea what was going on. There were a lot of weird feelings after — I was a quiet kid, but I remember becoming even quieter. Not wanting to talk to people that often, keeping to myself, and having a lot of anger. I remember one morning at breakfast I left the table and just tore apart the living room — flung newspapers, threw couch cushions, knocked over a play table and toys. All I was thinking when I was doing it was, “This room is awful and it deserves everything I’m doing to it!”
Honestly, that part is kind of funny looking back, but in context.. what was I trying to do? I don’t even think my parents knew why I was upset. I don’t think I knew. But I didn’t know that I was raped — I didn’t even know there was a word for it.
Not until Health & Careers my freshman year of high school. My teacher was discussing rape and rape prevention (which, of course, was only directed at the girls in the class). But then something happened — she said, super casually, “This can happen to guys, too.” And it clicked. I mean, her lecture kept going on for the girls about how to avoid being raped (what?) but she had made that one comment and it was like something in my brain shifted and the truth fell into place.
I had been raped.
The first thing I did was excuse myself and go into the bathroom for the rest of the day. Never left that stall, I remember that so vividly. I just listened to my iPod for hours. When the last bell rang, I went to my school counselor and told him what I thought had happened to me. His response?
“Why didn’t you fight back?”
Now, I want to talk about for a second how actually fucked up that is. I had spent seven years angry and confused and stuck— like somehow this part of my body, of my mind would not grow up or change with the rest of me. Finally, something made sense. Finally, I understood what was “wrong” with me and maybe how to start going about fixing it. Finally, it made sense why I had such a weird fucking reaction to when my family moved away from our old house, and why I hate visiting that neighborhood to this day. And this asshole asks why I didn’t fight back? I WAS SEVEN. A child. A tiny, confused, trusting, and completely-incapable-of-even-understanding-what-was-happening-to-me child.
But here’s the thing — this isn’t rare. This happens so often, that rape survivors aren’t believed and I’ve been fortunate enough to heal with friends and therapists and a lot of self-reflection. Not everyone (probably most survivors don’t) has that luxury. And while male survivors are generally this weird, unspoken about group.. well, there are far more women who are assaulted than men and who knows how many of them are not believed. I have made it such a personal thing, that anyone who ever tells me someone raped or hurt them — I believe them. No question. No doubt. I’ve made it a point to drill this into my little sister’s head: She can come to me, I will believe her. If she has friends who come to her, she had better believe them.
Because the thing about not being believed or being somehow held responsible for your own rape is, let me tell you, fucking traumatic. In some ways, for me, it was worse than the actual assault — because I started questioning if I was safe anywhere. It felt like at any point, any adult or person could assault me again and I would have absolutely no power to do anything about it because who would believe me? The thing about not being believed is that is causes you to feel even more alone than you already feel — like the world is encased in frosted glass or you are and nobody can really heard your words or see your face clearly and everything you say and do feels misinterpreted but you can never actually communicate the way you want to. The thing about not being believed is that everything in your chest just sinks down until you can barely stand. So, I believe anyone who tells me they were raped or assaulted — no matter what.
I am sure there are some people who have a problem with this philosophy and they can go suck eggs. Seriously, the moment my counselor said that to me, I panicked. He doesn’t think it really happened or he think it’s my fault or will my parents believe me or will they ask if it was my fault or what about the police — all I could think was, “She won, she won, she won.” I don’t really know what that means, why I thought that but..
It breaks my heart all over again to know that other people might.
Honestly, I am not writing this for myself, entirely. I participated in Project Unbreakable and that was a huge step in healing for me — just admitting to people publicly (and without shame) that I had been raped. But I want anyone reading this to know: If you were hurt or raped or raped and not believed when you told someone, when you told your best friend or teacher or counselor or parents or sisters or brothers or aunts or uncles or cousins or anyone, if none of them believed you — I believe you.
I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you, I believe you.
New York Court of Appeals claims that ejaculating on women and teenage girls in the subway isn't a felony.
I am pretty much done with this planet.
ANATOMY OF A RAPE CASE AT UVa
LINK IS IN THE TITLE
Dear anyone and everyone,
This is the account of one of my closest friends in the whole wide world. We’re trying to spread the word about her story, because this kind of thing happens much, much more often than anyone knows. It’s scary stuff, but please, spread the word. Show your friends, tell you family, especially those who are in college or college-bound. If you feel compelled to do so, then by all means tweet it, facebook-share it, re-blog it, but most especially: read it.
Thank you.
It’s strange: with the UK going through twists and angry self-inspection over the Jimmy Savile case (where a serial abuser appears to have got away with it for over 40 years on an almost unimaginable scale, because the power and fame disparities between himself and his victims meant that they were never taken seriously when they did have the guts to complain,) and after posting something like Neverwear’s account the other day, something like this leaves me fuming, but also puzzled that an institution would want things like this swept under the carpet. When the facts come out they cause more damage to the institution, and in the meantime it just causes more hurt to the victims.
I had not talked about this issue with Alfred Hitchcock to anyone. Because all those years ago, it was still the studio kind of situation. Studios were the power. And I was at the end of that, and there was absolutely nothing I could do legally whatsoever. There were no laws about this kind of a situation. If this had happened today, I would be a very rich woman.
Actress Tippi Hedron • Reflecting on the ordeal of starring in two of Alfred Hitchcock’s much-lauded films, Marnie and The Birds. Hedren says Hitchcock became disturbingly, sexually obsessed with her, once unsuccessfully trying to assault her, after which he subjected her to grueling and dangerous attacks by live birds during the latter film, leaving her bloodied. In advance of the debut of an HBO feature about her frightening and harassment-laden relationship with the late director, Hedren was given an advance screening: “When I first heard [actor Toby Jones’] voice at Alfred Hitchcock, my body just froze.” source (via shortformblog)
Look, guys. No matter what a girl does, no matter how she’s dressed, no matter how much she’s had to drink, it’s never, never, never, never, never okay to touch her without her consent. That doesn’t make you a man, it makes you a coward.
Vice President Joe “the BAMF” Biden, in a speech launching the federal government’s campaign to fight sexual violence on college campuses (via girl-non-grata)
That man was very strong. I wasn’t kissing him. He was kissing me.
It seems pretty clear, then, that what George had committed was sexual assault. Yet, in an amazing feat of willful blindness, none of the articles comment on this, even as they reproduce Greta’s words for us. Without a single acknowledgement of the problematic nature of the photo that her comments reveal, they continue to talk about the picture in a whimsical, reverent manner, “still mesmerized by his timeless kiss.” George’s actions are romanticized and glorified; it is almost as if Greta had never spoken.
Some talk of The Kissing Sailor photo in light of it being discovered of who the couple are.
“Historic” as it is, to be honest I always found something a bit gross about the photo. It barely looks like an embrace but more of a grip, and that guy laughing to the left of the frame always creeped me out. I suppose there will be those that argue against the revisionist talk but it doesn’t bother me.
(via fairmanrants)
Yeah. It doesn’t take a Who Weekly body language expert to look straight at her clenched fist and think “Hmm, not all that romantic, is it?”
(via clambistro)
I will reblog the truth of this photo every single time that I see it. Because the fact that the woman is EXPLICIT in her description of what actually happened, it is still revered as an iconic symbol of American romance.
If you want an example of misogyny and rape culture—you’re looking at it.
(via curiousgeorgiana)
tw: abuse
June 1987, Madonna was rushed to the Cedars Sinai hospital for an X-ray after her then-husband—Sean Penn hit her across the head with a baseball bat. At the time, they had been having a heart-to-heart talk about reconciling.
Madonna did not make an official complaint because Penn was about to serve a short jail term for attacking a film extra and violating the probation he’d been given for punching a fan. It was a decision she would come to regret. In the late afternoon of December 28, 1988, Penn scaled the wall surrounding the Malibu house and found Madonna alone in the master bedroom.
According to a report filed by Madonna with the Malibu sheriff’s office, the two began to quarrel. Penn told her he owned her “lock, stock and barrel”. When she told him she was leaving the house, he tried to bind her hands with an electric cord. Screaming and afraid, Madonna fled from the bedroom. Penn chased her into the living room, caught her and bound her to a chair with heavy twine. Then he threatened to shave her hair. Penn was “drinking liquor straight from the bottle” and the abuse went on for nine hours, during which he smacked and forced Madonna to perform a “degrading sex act” on him.
He went out to buy more alcohol, leaving Madonna bound and gagged. Some hours later, he returned and continued his attacks, then finally untied her. Madonna then fled the house and ran to her car. Penn ran after her and was banging on the windows of her Thunderbird while she spoke to police on her mobile phone. Fifteen minutes later, she staggered into the sheriff’s office.OMG CHRIS BROWN IS STILL AT AWARD SHOWS, SEXISM, OMG
i never knew what he did was so extreme. that is torture and rape. what the fuck? disgusting.
WHY DOESN’T ANYONE TALK ABOUT THIS OH MY GOD
(Source: madonnax)
Here’s the thing about men’s rights and general cluelessness
(tw for mention of rape, general misogyny)
These are responses to an article about a campaign to prevent rape and sexual harassment on college campuses.
I feel like there’s a need to break stuff down, not for these douchebags, but more like a rant for my own future reference.
“Y U TALKING ABOUT PREVENTING RAPE, PREVENTING FALSE RAPE ACCUSATIONS IS WAY MORE IMPORTANT AND WOMEN GET FREE DRINKS AT BARS AND CAN FUCK ANYONE AND NEVER GET FRIENDZONED AND MEN ARE RAPED TOO AND I WANT MY MOMMY”
no, Mike Hunter, alleged rapists are not zealously prosecuted by law enforcement. Actually the scenario looks a bit more like this:
And here’s the thing about the “False rape accusations” that you care about so much (and why wouldn’t you, it’s the only part of this lame feminist bullshit that applies directly to you). Do you know what’s the feminist stance on false rape accusations? Do you know what is the women’s stance on false rape accusations? We fucking hate them.
Yeah, we hate them. Because being falsely accused of raping someone, like false accusations of stealing, murdering or molesting, can destroy a person’s reputation. And they are usually done with the purpose of destroying someone’s reputation and/or get money. And also, false accusations of rape are one of the things that make it so much harder for women who were actually raped to get justice, and more importantly, to put these rapists in jail, where they can’t rape any more innocent people.
Meanwhile, a lot of people get the death penalty for things that they didn’t do, and I don’t see you getting all worked up about that.
What’s wrong with the process of accusing people of rape, rape trials and whatnot is how they’re conducted. When a woman is raped, they ask what she was wearing, how she was dancing, if she was drinking. The victim is attacked as much as the alleged rapist is, some times even more. And the victim is also attacked by her peers, whom many times are quick to judge her as an attention seeking whore. Mix that with the rape and post traumatic disorder and you have a real life ruiner right there.
What people judge in rape trials: If the woman actually wanted to have sex and is just a lying slut - usually confirmed by the fact that she has many sexual partners, drinks, has fun, dresses provocatively.
What people should be judging in rape trials: The rapist’s past sexual conduct, and general attitude towards women. Showing signs of misogyny, past accusations, past relationships, his character. And the victim’s past in LYING.
Because if a woman had many sexual partners before accusing this man of raping her, this should not make her case weaker. If anything, it should make her case stronger, because duh, look at how many men she had consensual sex with, and never tried accusing them of anything.
Another interesting point that clueless people usually add to conversations, is the fact that women get free drinks in bars, often get in for free in places that charge entrance for men, and, as a friend dearly pointed out to me: “If you stand up at this bar right now and say - who wants to fuck me? - i bet at least 10 guys would raise their hands”.
But here’s the thing. From a privileged white male perspective, getting free drinks and being able to have sex whenever you want are just the cherry on the top of your beautiful cake. It would be literally the last thing you’ll need to make your life perfect. And to women, it makes for a shitty consolation prize for being born and raised as a second class citizen, and it actually increases her chances of getting sexually assaulted or raped. Oh and by the way, the “free drinks” and “10 men raising hands” only count for women who are considered suitably fuckable by strange men and bartenders. You may guess that this is not exactly a fair game for women who don’t resemble the current beauty standard.
And men are raped, too. And their rapes are even less reported, because men feel so much shame in admitting that they suffered this, when they’re supposed to be raised to be strong and invincible. And the fact that men don’t get the same paternity leave as a mother does is unfair. And the fact that children almost automatically are in custody of the mother in cases of divorce is also unfair as fuck. Guess what’s the cause of all of these 3 things being an issue? Your dear patriarchy. The same one that grants you the respect and rights that are denied to women. Because that’s what defines gender roles that make men so afraid to report their rapes and sexual assaults. That’s what defines that the moms are the ones who should care for children and kick you out of your child’s life.
So guess what? We’re on the same side. And if you could only stop whining, you’d realize that.
![abaldwin360:
sonic-hip-attack:
thedailywhat:
Say What Now of the Day: This is Father Benedict Groeschel, a high-profile Catholic priest with the Archdiocese of New York who has a Ph.D. in psychology from Columbia University. This what he had to say about convicted pedophile Jerry Sandusky — whom he believes is the victim in the Penn State scandal, not the perpetrator:
People have this picture in their minds of a person planning to — a psychopath. But that’s not the case. Suppose you have a man having a nervous breakdown, and a youngster comes after him. A lot of the cases, the youngster — 14, 16, 18 — is the seducer … It’s not so hard to see — a kid looking for a father and didn’t have his own — and they won’t be planning to get into heavy-duty sex, but almost romantic, embracing, kissing, perhaps sleeping but not having intercourse or anything like that. It’s an understandable thing … there are the relatively rare cases where a priest is involved in a homosexual way with a minor. I think the statistic I read recently in a secular psychology review was about 2%. Would that be true of other clergy? Would it be true of doctors, lawyers, coaches? Here’s this poor guy — Sandusky — it went on for years. Interesting: Why didn’t anyone say anything? Apparently, a number of kids knew about it and didn’t break the ice. Well, you know, until recent years, people did not register in their minds that it was a crime. It was a moral failure, scandalous; but they didn’t think of it in terms of legal things. At this point, (when) any priest, any clergyman, any social worker, any teacher, any responsible person in society would become involved in a single sexual act — not necessarily intercourse — they’re done. And I’m inclined to think, on their first offense, they should not go to jail because their intention was not committing a crime.
Groeschel’s comments have since been removed from the National Catholic Register website. [thedish]
Oh look, a Catholic clergy member defending child sexual abuse by calling the underage victims little sinful sluts and insinuating that as long as you don’t have full-on intercourse with them it’s not that big of a deal, and saying that it doesn’t happen that often anyway so why should we really care? And it’s probably in other professions, too, so really, lay off the poor rapist.
Fuck you. How the fuck you managed to get a PhD in Psychology and believe that child abuse is the CHILD’S fault (even if a 16 year old DOES come on to you, you’re a fucking ADULT and you should have control over yourself. If you don’t, then you’re still a fucking danger to children and should not work with them), I have no idea. Get the fuck out of my profession.
Take a good look. That is what pure evil looks like. Right there.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9l6ymxYL61qzpwi0o1_500.jpg)
Say What Now of the Day: This is Father Benedict Groeschel, a high-profile Catholic priest with the Archdiocese of New York who has a Ph.D. in psychology from Columbia University.
This what he had to say about convicted pedophile Jerry Sandusky — whom he believes is the victim in the Penn State scandal, not the perpetrator:People have this picture in their minds of a person planning to — a psychopath. But that’s not the case. Suppose you have a man having a nervous breakdown, and a youngster comes after him. A lot of the cases, the youngster — 14, 16, 18 — is the seducer … It’s not so hard to see — a kid looking for a father and didn’t have his own — and they won’t be planning to get into heavy-duty sex, but almost romantic, embracing, kissing, perhaps sleeping but not having intercourse or anything like that.
It’s an understandable thing … there are the relatively rare cases where a priest is involved in a homosexual way with a minor. I think the statistic I read recently in a secular psychology review was about 2%. Would that be true of other clergy? Would it be true of doctors, lawyers, coaches?
Here’s this poor guy — Sandusky — it went on for years. Interesting: Why didn’t anyone say anything? Apparently, a number of kids knew about it and didn’t break the ice. Well, you know, until recent years, people did not register in their minds that it was a crime. It was a moral failure, scandalous; but they didn’t think of it in terms of legal things.
At this point, (when) any priest, any clergyman, any social worker, any teacher, any responsible person in society would become involved in a single sexual act — not necessarily intercourse — they’re done. And I’m inclined to think, on their first offense, they should not go to jail because their intention was not committing a crime.Groeschel’s comments have since been removed from the National Catholic Register website.
[thedish]Oh look, a Catholic clergy member defending child sexual abuse by calling the underage victims little sinful sluts and insinuating that as long as you don’t have full-on intercourse with them it’s not that big of a deal, and saying that it doesn’t happen that often anyway so why should we really care? And it’s probably in other professions, too, so really, lay off the poor rapist.
Fuck you. How the fuck you managed to get a PhD in Psychology and believe that child abuse is the CHILD’S fault (even if a 16 year old DOES come on to you, you’re a fucking ADULT and you should have control over yourself. If you don’t, then you’re still a fucking danger to children and should not work with them), I have no idea. Get the fuck out of my profession.
Take a good look. That is what pure evil looks like. Right there.
I have the following to say regarding Todd Akin and his “rape” comments.
Trigger warning for discussion of sexual assault.
Everyone should read this.
[Trigger Warning: Rape, Sexual assault, Rape culture, link contains images of rapists]
Here are the two rapists that assaulted Savannah Dietrich.
The first one is Will Frey III
and the sec is Austin Zehnder.
If You guys haven’t read the story yet. A young 17 year old girl was sexually assaulted, when the Judge (Judge Mcdonald) got them off easy, Ms. Savannah went on twitter and spread their foul names, now she is being sentenced to Jail. Please sign the petition and get the charges to be dropped.
Sign Petition here:
http://www.change.org/petitions/kentucky-district-court-drop-charges-against-savannah-dietrich?utm_campaign=petition_page
Spread their names and pictures to protect yourselves.
Sign the petition, spread this around. This whole situation is just fucking unbelievable.
Rape survivors should never face more stigma than their attackers. I do’t care what the judge says.
Will Frey and Austin Zehnder are rapists.
Will Frey and Austin Zehnder are rapists.
Will Frey and Austin Zehnder are rapists.
Will Frey and Austin Zehnder are rapists.
Will Frey and Austin Zehnder are rapists.
Reblogging to name the rapists and also to add new information: Contempt motions against Savannah have thankfully been withdrawn.
